"Is she (me, that is) your wife? You wouldn't want to cross her when told to wash up" (or similar wording).
Having a voice of my own, and being quicker off the mark than Alistair, I replied that yes I am his wife and that I don't tell him to do anything - we have an equal partnership...
So I have been mulling over what makes an equal partnership? I know it's easy for me to pontificate ( we are retired, active and 'run a loose ship'), but, for what it's worth, here are a few musings...
An equal partnership for us certainly doesn't mean rigidly dividing the must-do jobs down the middle and alternating them throughout the week (that there are seven days in the week has always seemed to me to militate against that!)
There are certain jobs that one or other of us does better, and tend to continue to do...though we are working on initiating each other into the joys so we 'could manage alone' , one day. Some of these skills are inate, some are habitual...as I say we are working on them...
But we have been together for many, MANY years and my musings have led me to think that flexibility and, more than anything, kindness is the key...
He has hurt his heel, for example, so I am doing the majority of the dog-walking.
My back is dodgy, so he is wielding the vacuum cleaner.
I sit down in the late-afternoon, he has a burst of energy and goes cycling or swimming.
"Oh so easy for you," I hear you say! "What about those of us with two careers, three children and two dogs!?"
Been there, I promise you and, though I admit I wasn't in 'gainful employment' when our kids were young, anyone who knows us knows how hard our life was at that time.
And, again, kindness is honestly the key, kindness and consideration for each other's strengths and weaknesses, quirks and foibles...
In our very early days together, when we were young and starry-eyed, Alistair pointed out to me that the word "consideration" begins with "consider"...
:-)
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